navigating the waters of self expression

 

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“It’s actually hard for creative people to know themselves because the creative self is more complex than the non-creative self,” Scott Barry Kaufman, a psychologist at New York University who has spent years researching creativity –

as an artist i like contrasts because they compel me to define where i am. there are hard contrasts and subtle contrasts. contrasts such as hot/cold hungry/full active/static– the difference between noon and midnight or the dry heat of the sun after a swim in a cool dark pond, the angular sharpness of man compared to the smoothness of the feminine which always carries delicate space. subtle contrasts are found in the hours of dawn and twilight, where relationships, things are softened, and in the comparison of day vs. day vs. day over a years length or in the many shades of water. contrasts show me edges, and edges inform perceptions of space. awareness of the edges within the subtle and around the obvious allows for a great range of comparison, (and a location in space:)). comparison is neutral unless we attach meaning or judgment to it. so i have to be me, to explore this idea and to acknowledge that i have to be somewhat self obsessed, i mean it in the kindest way. (flips hair here)…

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what is going on here?

who feels it knows it

who feels it knows it

summary

summary

all of the perceptions, judgments and comparison happen in my mind. i navigate the waters of the delicate dance of balance, lived inside a divided mind, with pinpoints of starlight that appear when defining the edges. there are universes to explore inside. the joy of seeing the ‘pinpoints of light’ is what creates inspiration. expression of a fleeting definition, as with stars, is already an idea long dead by the time i am seeing its light. yet it is new to me. i enjoy its form and elements of familiarity–it came through me, and surprise, where i marvel at the end result in physical form, since i left that part open to collaboration with the edges.

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i create expressions of art through defining my perceptions. i am also the archaeologist of my soul. using pinpoints of light, i dig up images, words, ideas and uncover shapes with my awareness of edges. i see them as i feel them, or sometimes the reverse. as i learn more about myself i learn more about the world. in the present past meets future and the result is a new archaeology. what i have uncovered is perceived, compared and defined – the past. it is becoming the future. once it has been defined it is the past again. ultimately this leads to a feeling of space for me, though defining things gives me the feeling of tension, of hardness–as in the opposite of space.

my voice is the truest expression of my original perceptions, definitions, and comparisons.  it is the direct descendant of thought and best expresses emotion. my expression is the voice of my soul. i wrote poetry before i explored other mediums and realized that all the expressions are my ‘voice’. now I am making music and the songs are my voice. with the collaboration of other musicians we are creating the sounds and feelings of the words and melodies.

and the rest comes soon, stay tuned…until then, a poem from my past:

InHabit Body Speak

It’s like Seasick this being doubtful
an anti-alieum uranium alien
is cold inhabit body and damp with sweat
has ancient wings and covered with dust dry
they shine brightly silking coil
of luminescent florescence
Shaking beauty wakes with wetness
She’s a shattered winner
Smooth sheened mirror that changes color
with it’s reflections of layers on heaps
gone slightly invisible a surface to Sun On
To LUST on the lusts Lustre is less than
nothing and more than everything
it’s all still there the layers the lizard
the loudness the shinedrenched soundfeel
close to the shadow’s edge
a circumference of warmth drawing near
and a smile’s ability to draw a crowding in
of flood fill skin Tone to Sing

 

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