heart, my Heart, this stone, this Stone heart is a poem written~

 

dear friends, April is national poetry month! –and yes I write poetry! before the sculptures, before the collages, before the life felt very lived, I was writing poems…and because I share myself with so many other mediums, the poetry gets overlooked sometimes. without poetry however my soul would be dry, and I would have nothing to share. this spring i have had more opportunity to reflect more on the great dying than new life yet such as the spring brings. so while it has been a warm winter and early spring, this spring feels late to arrive in my life, in my heart. a perfect time for poetry!

in honor of spring, 2015  with lunar eclipse!

 

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heart, my Heart, this stone, this Stone heart is a poem written~

all springs springing
hard plastic pen finally broke

excited to get the spring out
fascinated by it–for a second–
flash it sprang so fast and so far
pen springs are really springy

for some time there was no one to turn to
every reflection appeared blank
eye wallow shortly confusioned
while the rods reorganized a soft mortis
and light became reimagined
at least there will be flowers soon

taking only one reach across the sky, Star

lived many millions of years for one Supernova moment

coiled light jumper + impact detonation…sSpring eclipsed spring

–istara freedom April 9, 2015

 

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fortifies

some stories never told     her voice as soft as rain    the smells of things                                   smell of blood and ink    human pain of choice    tattooed hues                                                       constant telling story     to the witness in my head     wear the face                                               current fixation    human or otherwise   rarely told details begging                                                     to be said aloud    right now the face    the witness is you                                             thunder/desire   light of surprise    I have made the effort                                                                    to be wise    now I make    a fort of eyes

istara freedom, 2011

 

lovedove

 

ms Align ment

locked inside a star room
in a Gods body
wrapped in the petals
of Her heart
listening to his breath
If I have a skin
it is stinging
with the brightness
of the light

a winged sea
collects the dew
frothed full moon
waxes through the night
still pearl in infinite array
our take is for the birds
and i am free

bigger walls have fallen
i will move you with a look
that is like the sun
on the lake at noon
what is found true
and has not been shaded
with the scandalism of matter

istara freedom 1-19-2010

 

the rainbow and beyond–why transgender persons are important to human evolution

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in honor of transgender visibility day, i want to share a few thoughts about the expansion of transgendered people and their visibility in our communities. personally, I celebrate transgendered people! i see them as a gift to assist in balancing our very polarized societies and enriching our communities with a switched perspective in gendered expression. don’t worry, if you are feeling confused i am going to bring it home here. many times we have heard silly colloquialisms regarding gender such as  ‘men are from mars, women are from venus’ or, ‘the battle of the sexes’…and the frequent references to painful relationship situations due to misunderstandings between masculinity and femininity. people shrug and give up– “well, guess that’s a man thing”, or ‘women! so complicated’. and the painful experience prevents them from experiencing love and acceptance. and if that happens we become stunted. to have women among us that have known from the inside out what it is like to have a mans biology and a mans social expectations and conditioning, and vice versa, is to have a rare opportunity to heal the divisions and misunderstandings between the genders—on many levels, both physical and subtle.

why now more than ever are there trans people coming out of all walks of life and class/age groups and claiming their right to choose or change their biological gender to one that more accurately represents them? there are more children being born that are informing their parents of a true gender they feel beyond the biological gender they came in with. I’ve heard wonderful stories of parents allowing their children to express themselves as their claimed gender and fighting for their rights to attend school and church etc, –also of abuse and repression that have led to trauma and loss. it is often life or death for many trans people to be themselves. our communities are crying out for healing in relationship, and the birthing of transgender people is an answer to that crying. it is a wonderful healing opportunity to have a whole, healed person that feels their appropriate gender grace our communities.

i have loved ones, friends and friends of friends that are transgender. I have been by the side of a person I love while they made the only choice to transition to honor their true identity even while I had celebrated their fine example of being the other gender, the one they were not, and  though I had an initial sense of shock I embraced the opportunity to grow as a well rounded community member. i truly advocate for the support of well being in transitioning and pray that others will learn to celebrate the differences and opportunities we have for learning more levels of acceptance and understanding. people are people and it is be painful to be misunderstood and judged just for expressing ones true nature, as our birthright is to express our true nature.

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there are many ways of gender blending in the spectrum, however– if one says they are a different gender than they were born with, then they have come to an edge of self awareness that defies biology. that is evolution, and that is not a frivolous choice, as no one would choose to make the most complete change that a person could make and suffer the potential abuses and misunderstandings that may come with such a change. in many ways we are desperate for evolution as a species! truly there are more people wanting friends and partners that are caring and true and committed and deep, than can fulfill an extreme version of gender, one that has been rendered for so long we are physically evolving out of it. societally, there is too much attachment to the definitions of masculine vs. feminine, and women, men and children–people–are hurting because of it. transgendered persons are part of the rainbow tribes, and are guides into new and more hospitable territories, where aspects of peoples divine masculine and divine feminine are embraced individually to bring us to being more complete and expressed, satisfied selves. and that is why I celebrate transgendered persons, the rainbow and beyond!

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dear blogging world…I promise to take our relationship more seriously

dear blogging world…I promise to take our relationship more seriously and become more committed to our evolving process…now what are you going to do for me? Ha!! –okay just kidding, here is a quick update as I have been negligent here for some time…I have been getting out more and enlarging my community again! I went to a fantastic party for Valentine’s day, danced, and shared my large heart collage which was absolutely perfect for the event, as it was a fundraiser for my friends ‘hippocampus’ burning man bus, and it being Valentines day, my heart –which also has seahorses entwined as a central feature, (maybe this is obvious; hippocampus bus people love seahorses!) and it was sold to a happy hippo-camper! good bless, heart! at least I will get to visit you so long as we are both in Seattle.

who feels it knows it

who feels it knows it

I took part in a fashion show here in Seattle at the legendary local club, the Re-bar, where I modeled the designer Kiymbah’s incredible costume she created for me, and danced in it to my song ‘alien’, to great response! the evening was awesome, with great art, beautiful and fantastical costumes and a visit from a friend i’d not seen since my previous Seattle incarnation, more than 15 yrs ago…what a treat!

alien angel rebar

I had a small area to display my art and get my email list signed and cards out, once the performance was over, I mingled and met some great people and sold another piece of art, my last music box of the original 10, which happened to be number one! now I am excited to get to make some more, and as I have a new opportunity, with a possible show coming up in about a week, so, stay tuned! thanks for taking the time to read and for the appreciation!

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PS…here is a link to my video where I first performed in costume, in case you missed it before ;)

universal upgrade, part 2

wow, this has been a beautiful passage in my life and i had lost track of some time since the last upgrade. in the beginning of the year, i had the pleasure of being called to have my art represented in a newly opened gallery in Santa Barbara, the Jadenow gallery. interesting timing as i had put down the idea of making more sculpture and visual art for a time while coming to terms with what is necessary to make my music happen, to try out new muscles that usually lie dormant while sculpting, my mouth being covered by a mask. what great honor however to be asked to be a part of the opening and how much work there actually was to get everything ready to take down to the gallery. i had to re-sand and polish a couple of different stone sculptures to bring them up to gallery level, and to finish bases on a couple of others.

Jadenow Gallery

Jadenow Gallery

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there was much excitement and a video documentary was made of the last eight hours before the grand opening, with everything coming together at the last minute. it felt like a miracle that there was a grand opening, and even with the genie lift still being on the floor and a few boxes and chaos going on, we all managed to make it happen.

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i had some space to call my own by the end of the day.

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summary

summary

i had fun. afterwards we packed up a few things i had brought down, and i said goodbye to new friends and to my art! now some months have gone by, and last week i received a call from the gallery to tell me that two of my sculptures had been sold! very exciting news, and with it a fleeting sense of loss as i realized that, not having met the buyer, i most likely will never see these two again as they move on to their new lives and homes. it is good to know that my work will exhibit grace in a new place. goodbye, Poe! ….goodbye, Ancestor! …i love you!

Poe, Chlorite and Granite base

Poe, Chlorite and Granite base

Ancestor

i am in fact thrilled that all this occurred and it is my great pleasure to be able to have been well compensated and to have the funds from the sale of these two beauties feed back into more art and expression! thank you, Jadenow Gallery, art patrons, friends and thank you Universe! maybe it is time to return to the workshop…

stay tuned for more….

 

the artist on sex, the shadow and spirit

yes, I am choosing to write about a risky topic, in that it entails broaching the conversation of our most private and often unexplored topic, sex!  it gets our attention and regardless of our opinions, preferences and experiences will command a moment or more of attention when we see it in a topic.  it is natural, biological, and humans are captive to the impulse regardless of their personal conception and whether it involved sexuality or was a scientific experiment.  the biological sequence of becoming a life form involved an exchange of energy to initiate development.

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“untitled” collage 10″ x 10″ istara freedom

development from the infinite unknown, or spirit world into a life form took some sort of attraction and environmental arranging to occur.  thus the occurrence of matter!  any matter formed also creates a shadow.  shadows can be fun.  we can play with shadows, and become the master of our shadow.  we can turn in a certain way to the light and with our eye see the smallest shadow possible.  if we desire we may grow that shadow to immense proportions with the right angles of light, and make a large impression with our shadow.  some may call this a negative impression, and indeed it can be.  however there is another side besides the negative shadow, and it is the protective, powerful guardian side, that we can also depend on if we know how to work the light.  and now of course you know that I am speaking metaphorically as well as physically.

okay back to the sex, time to keep the attention going here, for real! –a quick review, how are all those things related–artists, sex, shadow, spirit?  oh yes, by nature of having a physical form, attention is drawn toward the impulse of exchange, and energetic exchange that creates more energy is a matter to consider, along with its shadow.  a psychological shadow also develops as a psyche forms when the matter begins to relate/exchange with other forms.  it all may seem very abstract but there is a basic exchange, a relationship.  in that sense spirit is drawn to that which is energetically embedded in our primal impulse, from that moment when energy surged into the cells that began to grow into us.  that universal occurrence of biological exchange makes us especially drawn to the idea of sex.  regardless of the opinion we have regarding sexuality, we will respond to the word or idea with some attention.  artists are the ones that visibly, consciously externalize the shadow–both physically and psychologically to the world, becoming a reflection for other lifeforms to relate to.  many artists have an ongoing representation of the shadow in their work.  it is an opportunity to have a reflection, and to share the reflection, as there are those that are conditioned to believe that the shadow is bad, or to be feared somehow, and want to minimize it to be more comfortable.

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“untitled” collage 10″ x 10″ istara freedom

we can benefit by being aware of the shadow–as a performance of personal power, or to provide a distraction, or open a conversation with the psyche as to ones fears and challenges.  I have found the dialogue can be very helpful, to assess where i am in relation to my shadow.  by looking at it, envisioning it, and playing with the shadow, we can communicate with the parts of our psyche that are pre-lingual, and deep in shadow.  it may well be an uncomfortable conversation at first, as our very powerful imaginations combined with deep elemental forces will detail any type of fear or fantasy we may have.  artists and creative types, scientists, are agents of this primal creative energy, and often explore aspects of shadow sexuality in their work.  the commercial viability of sexuality is part of our collective human shadow and is a consideration for many artists and the phenomenon we know as ‘selling out’.  because sexuality is viable, it will often dominate certain types of commercially successful art forms, especially in film and music.  as artists with integrity we can minimize the grotesque exploitation of sexuality for profit by looking at the shadow sides of ourselves and use the sexual energy to create work that honors the sexual impulse of all life as a more elemental occurrence.

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“O” collage, mixed media 2′ x 3′ istara freedom

as I am transitioning from the more quiet side of the visual arts to songwriting and singing, I am beginning to consider performance again and selling an image.  I get to play with the ideas of sexuality and how much of a sexy image I want to portray.  i consider the challenge it has been for me from time to time to present or ‘sell’ my  visual art, as it is open to interpretation and has the energy of self reflection.  it gives the viewer a mirror to go deep inside and that can be uncomfortable for those that want a pretty and conventional surface to relate to–or people will get distracted by my physical presence, and want to shift the focus to me. so now i get to play with selling my own image in the presentation of the songs if i choose.

perhaps you were expecting a more juicy expose on sex, shadow, spirit and the artist. i will admit, i have been curious to see just how much of a difference in the traffic to my site will be affected by including sex in the topic, and this is part of my research. maybe another day i will write a more ‘juicy’ piece to make up for it if my readers seem interested. let me know. thanks for the visit!

ON MYTHS ABOUT ARTISTS: explained from the 5th Dimension

Istara (595)

istara freedom –photo by Jamileh Dille

–A conversation between my expanded 5th dimensional brain and my here-self now:

 

one: artists are flaky

5D BRAIN:  …seen from the 5th dimension, artists tend to have many layers of complexity. on the extreme end there are people with diagnosed conditions–idiot savant, autistic and so on, that are accomplished or prolific artists that operate from parts of our immense brains that most 3rd and 4th dimensional humans never access. yet artists that function in your conventional societal structures also operate from these extra-dimensional, typically unused parts of human brains. this becomes challenging for those that live solely in three and four dimensions to understand.

Yin in Space

space quan, collage, 10″ x 10″ by istara freedom

ME:  our societal and structurally contrived world, for the most part, is confounded and confusing- it means nothing to me, yet well designed artifice can be pleasing and supportive to ideal human evolution. when i remember the sweetness, the nectar of the gods and how that juice is actually inside of me i breathe deeply, relaxing in the feeling that i am worthy of enjoying this moment, because Divine is inside of me. wow. god, whatever…divine nature, spirit, or ___________________. there IT is! and i am that I AM… i hear, ‘it’s okay to not know everything, and to just enjoy every breath’, or strive to, even if that means enduring some excruciating task, like paying bills or having dental work done or really getting into the nitty gritty of love with other beings and all That entails. i think i need a new tattoo just thinking about it. an enjoyable pain, just to temper the pain that I feel having to function in this society contrived to support greed and where money makes money is the motto, instead of time plus energy equals art and we are here to make art, all of us!

 

two: anyone can make art

5D BRAIN:  yes, anyone can. and we exist to create rich, satisfying lives, making the most of what we have: play more. play with wild abandon. respect the sacred. value safety of life more than a life of safety.

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eco art by Dylan Sturge

ME:  my son made this nature collage when he was six. he said ‘mommy, I made this art for you!’  and I love it!

 

three: is it art?

5D BRAIN:  in the 5th dimension, everything is art –accepting that is the first step. whether or not you view your world as art is up to you. this is the beauty of creation. how beautiful can you see? how creative can your perceptions become? can you perceive your life outside the framework of our contrived definition? how would our three and four dimensional worlds change if we could see everything we do creatively, empathically? once we see how everything is connected–each organism breathing creates another stroke or mark in the creation we all belong to.

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lightwave mandala, collage 10″ x 10″, by istara freedom

ME:  this is a definition of art from Dictionary.com:

art: the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance.

also–art etymology [Old English eart,  part of bēon  to be ] archaic  ( used with the pronoun  thou ) a singular form of the present tense (indicative mood) of be

–this is true, right!, to be is to art and to be of the earth is to be art, eart! -listen to the earth, have the ear tuned to the being of the earth and of the self to to the being of art.

 

four: artists are lazy and self-centered

5D BRAIN:  simply because artists tend to do things differently isn’t enough to qualify them as lazy. many artists work tirelessly at their art or craft. it can be intensely physical as in dance or quiet and heady, writing for instance. also many artists keep different schedules than the structured societies they live in, so it is easy to judge them as they may sleep at odd hours or have a fast from food or friends or display an obsession or fascination with a color or idea or movement for a time. it is easy to look from the outside and say, self-centered madness! -yet artists are truly service workers even if they appear to be self indulgent or self centered, as humanities soul development and evolution depend on those that bring beauty or whimsy or humor or magic and any unique perspectives on perception. artists and visionaries magnetize on many other subtle layers of existence and are vital to our communities.

hungry heart

hungry heart, collage 10″ x 10″, by istara freedom

ME:  if more people considered art and expression to be important just think how much more amazing this world could be. it is time for a renaissance! -of what only the living <being> organisms that we call artists are able to conjure up and share. and that is anyone willing to contribute to a larger collaborative vision. to really sink into the one universal energy that everything alive shares, that is the collective ability and freedom to create. to direct our creative impulses for the benefit of all, and to show that we truly value the artist in everyone, including ourselves. what do we want to create today?

 

five: art doesn’t make money

5D BRAIN:  money doesn’t exist in the fifth dimension. everything is light and attainment is by joyful focus on the concentration of many densities of light, and by agreement.

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space i reach 4, collage 10″ x 10″, by istara freedom

ME:  I am still trying to figure this out. I have made some money selling my art, my sculptures especially. I see some artists making money. I see people that make an art of making money. I see some business people making art that makes money because their art is a business. artists need money just like all other people. and there are other ways to benefit from making art provide in ways for your life than just monetary exchange, as in barters and for charitable or educational gain. if you are making art to make money then make it a business. or make a part of your art the part that makes some money, like I have done with tattooing and painting murals, and make the rest of it just to experience making art for the sake of art.

 

the large collages

New World

‘a new world’ -five feet tall

“what did you…?”
“how did you…?”
“why did you…?”
“you did that?”

I have heard comments such as these and more regarding my large collages. they are uniquely blended and expansive, with a complete saturation of wild imagery, color, and glitter, melded together with thick, clear, shiny resin. they sparkle in many ways beyond what is captured in the photos. they can provoke intense reactions – I have had people prostrate themselves and bow before these large colorful collages, oh my! now, some of the collages are being exhibited at the Jadenow Gallery in Santa Barbara and people are asking about making the art.

the first collages came from images that I collected during an exciting time when I lived in san Francisco, CA. i was going for it: i was in art school. i had headshots and an agent. i was in an experimental theatre company, called Ego Po. i was with a dance company, we did techno tribal dance. we entertained at night club events, raves and concerts, including lollapalooza. i performed interpretive dance for a friend’s monologues who later founded a theatre currently producing shows in san Francisco. busy, busy, busy. I saved anything that caught my eye visually.

eventually when I moved from the city and took some time off to help my sister with her business in Hawaii, I had a large collection of papers, photos, club flyers, events posters and other bits of memorabilia. I had to downsize, so I coalesced them into the first collages I made. i like to expand and carry out an expression to its fullest, so they grew large. other people added things to the collages, younger relatives I spent time caring for, a girlfriend, or added art made by other artist friends. there is an influence of theatre, dance, art films, raves, and ecstatic san Francisco psychedelia. that saturated time is reflected in the large red collages, as well as the soul archeology that I spoke of in my last blog.

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‘sacred’ eight feet tall

the story of the large blue collage is a little different. this piece was made in Seattle, after i moved back from Hawaii and lived on capital hill. the blue collage was created during a lonely time. seattle was so different for me, with the rain – the slick shiny and reflective surfaces, wet gear, shiny streets in the night lights, and a view of the Olympic mountains from the balcony that saved a part of my soul when i lived there. i had an astral connection to nature that was more intense than when i lived in san Francisco. I felt ungrounded often and very close to the other side. the blossoming of esoteric wisdom became visible and I made peace with the pronounced negative space we feel when suddenly we lose someone to death.

i chose the image of Marilyn Monroe for that expression in my collage, she is pictured on the lower left side, an image of her face, an ephemeral beauty full of light. then in the same place on the right side is the beautiful negative space, like a black rose, swirling with empty darkness and emotion. there is again the notion of universes in our heads, starry substances our cells. in the top center of it all resides the ‘queen of unity’ (from a card, artist unknown) – the balance of light and dark, the perfection of balance and the supreme mother. at the bottom is the bull, also sacred to the goddess, grounded and fierce.  the image is of the woman taking him by the horns, surrendering the bull and her own self to her power. it is an homage to the divine feminine, with the gentle message being:  all that is sacred is not lost. this message led to the title: ‘all stars are not created perfect’.

all stars are not created perfect

all stars are not created perfect

because these collages were so large, i eventually had to do something with them to make room for other art and life…also because they were so large, i had to find creative ways to frame them, as i couldn’t afford to have them professionally framed. the frames became further decorative extensions of the artwork.